Do you love me?

Look at me, I am probably the one you have spent more or less time with.

This is me.

But, have you ever wondered if you really knew me?

Let's see who I am and what I can do.

I can draw, 

I can write,

I speak languages (this is pretty known).

I love arts & crafts, used to make clay dolls or paper artwork.

I am caring, maybe I care too much,

I don't want to be hurt.

I am willing to push you off a cliff, if I know that you're going to.

I am impulsive, but I also overthink and cry a lot.

Have you ever seen me cry? 

                                 Have you ever seen me cry watching a movie?

I bet you hadn't. I look awful, yet I feel you should have looked at me.

I free my innermost feelings in drawing.

And I trap the things I love in there, to keep them with me.

I have unspeakable regrets. 

If I could, I would wash off my entire existence

just not to redo all of the things that made me,

but that to me are nothing but horrible mistakes.

I remember the smiles, I remeber birthdays. 

YES, I have a great memory for other people's birthdays (not everybody).

Do you recognize yours in here?

Aug 13, Apr 28, Apr 25, Sep 1, Jan 8, Dec 18, Jan 5, 

Mar 31, Oct 23, Mar 22, Mar 20, Oct 24, Nov 10, Dec 3, 

Aug 8, Aug 17...

I write, but you don't want to see what I write about.

I am funny. God, I wish I could translate all my jokes

just to show you my real wit. Just to show you how funny I can be.

I am so funny that, most times, I am even your best buddy.

But the sad truth is, I am just a woman.

I am beautiful.

I know, I do know I am. Did you?

I am very tall. People ask me all the time 

                                                                  "Why are you so tall?!"

As if it were something extraordinary, and, at the same time, disturbing.

I am beautiful, I have a very good skin and a more or less regular face.

I look stunning in dresses.

Maybe you didn't notice that, because I wasn't wearing make-up in front of you all the time?

Maybe because I was not wearing nice clothes in my everyday life?

Hey, hint. I do look gorgeous. 

                                                              Too bad you never noticed.

I am very creative, yes, I can write draw paint create stuff in general,

and I have been taken advantage of many times because of that.

                                                          "Vicky, since you're so creative, why don't u do this or that?"

Hey you people, nobody asked to do your chores ya know.

I am very creative, and very, very sensitive.

And I am broken.

I had been broken since I can remember. Yet nobody sees that,

or I just say that's just fine.

I have been haunted by monsters that you heard from me, 

                    but that you probably never wanted to listen to. 

Being broken, surrounding myself with toxic people,

and being a toxic person myself,

This is all part of me.

And if you hadn't noticed before, my dear,

it just means you don't care about me at all.

This is me.

And it's too late to be sorry not to have noticed.

I love you my friend, but I don't think you ever loved me.

And at the end of the day, I don't think you deserved me at all.